Coffee with Mai

I recently went out to coffee with a friend from my school, Mai. Mai, in a complimentary tone, told me I exude the essence of a Vietnamese woman. I was a bit confused. You see, throughout my life I distinctly remember being reprimanded for being too Americanized by family and friends alike. My curiosity pressed me to ask Mai to clarify.

To my disappointment, all I got was that I am uncorrupted by American culture and parts of my figure and kind character shine with Vietnamese-ness. Mai even went as far as to say I should take a Vietnamese husband. However, in the same breath my friend also mentioned that I might be “ế chồng” (roughly translated: a spinster), because a Vietnamese husband would not want someone smarter and more successful than him. Just as well, I would probably make a terrible Vietnamese wife anyway.

Though, as the night went on my love life trajectory took another sad turn. Mai inquired about my age and birth year and discovered I was born the year of the rabbit (or in Vietnamese terms: the cat).

“Oh no! You are the year of the cat?!?” Mai says.
(Uyen: looking worried)
“You will always have bad luck in love.”
(Uyen: awkward laugh)
“It is ok, you will have much luck in other things in life. You will find a good job and it will be easy for you to become famous.”
(Uyen: awkward laugh again)
“But you will always have bad luck in love.” Mai laughs awkwardly.

Apparently, Vietnamese wife or not, according to Mai, I’m either going to be a spinster or I’m destined for unhappy love. (haha, oh dear. Let’s hope that’s not true… unless I am a spinster with puppies, maybe 3 or 5. Maybe I could have a cute beagle, an English bull dog that can’t roll over and a golden retriever, or some sort of mutt! But I digress…)

Though this exchange was strange and a little unnerving it illustrates some of the superstitious culture (birth astrology) as well as the ever present paternalism (men must be smarter and more talented) that is Vietnamese culture. Let’s hope I don’t exude that!