I am a child

I just finished reading the chapter in The Happiness Project about parenting. When I started I wasn't sure if this was information I would just have to file away until I became a parent (probably decades from now, we can only hope science will catch up).  However half way through the chapter I realized, the reactions Gretchen's two daughters (Eliza and Eleanor) have are somewhat parallel to mine.  An example is Eliza is sobbing because "People always pay attention to Eleanor, but nobody ever pays any attention to me." Though my tantrums are framed in different contexts, they are unfortunately quite similar. And although, Gretchen, the respective people I spat with, and I all know that this may not be 100% factually true, I benefit from the acknowledgement of my feelings just as much as Eliza does.  The quote below makes me feel a little better because it references children AND adults.

The most important lesson from Faber and Mazlish's books is simple and as applicable to adults as to children: we should acknowledge the reality of people's feelings.  In other words, don't deny feelings such as anger, irritation, fear, or reluctance; instead, articulate the feeling and the other person's point of view.

After a little reflection, I realized that this is why I talk about my life. Talking about my life makes me feel vulnerable, but I talk about my life to my close friends because when I feel happy, sad, frustrated, etc. I am looking for acknowledgement.  It may be childish, but there are times I want someone to acknowledge my emotions and sometimes validate them.

I think my brother is probably the best at this.  He has had nearly 25 years of practice fighting, feuding and spatting with me.  Now when I feel unhappy about something, he says, "Okay, you're upset, what can I do?"

And sometimes you just need a break to breathe it out.  Last night I started painting random things in my apartment.  I started with paper and moved to shoes... oh dear.  But it was cathartic and it made me happy. (Like this kid.)

Meditation:
Become my own acknowledger.

Gratitudes:
I am posting my gratitudes a little early today for a couple of reasons.  First, I have lots to be thankful for this morning.  Second, I think reflecting on the good things in the morning helps set the tone for the rest of the day.

1) I got a text from one of my best friend's mom's last night.  It was so good to hear from her.  I absolutely love their entire family.  Even late at night, I just felt less alone.
2) People seem to be entertaining my happiness binge.  I like sharing the things I've learned and read.  Most of all I like when I see other people wanting to try my personal experiment.  I feel like I'm spreading happiness.
3) Public radio.  It helps me learn. Thanks NPR!

Reflection:
I have a few friends in my life who are type A personalities (surprising, I know). When I chat with them I think a lot of the time they can focus on what needs to be improved.  But during my most recent conversation, I sat and listened to all the negative things happening to my friend and made it a point to point out the positives.  This wasn't so much an exercise for my friend as it was for me. I think in generally, I am getting better at finding and appreciating the positives in life.  It feels good to have something to show for my little project. I felt proud of myself.

Exercise:
In an effort not to snooze my alarm as often, I got out of bed this morning to do my morning stretches and exercise.  That counts, right? (Let's pretend I look like this when I exercise.) Also, here is a link for morning exercises, if you are interested.

Random Act:
I texted my friend's mom back and took the opportunity to tell her how much her family means to me.  I don't think I do this enough.  So I will add that to my new list of resolutions, telling people how awesome they are.