Our Real Selves

Meditation:
I just read this article a friend posted about happiness. Or more importantly, how technology or society can sometimes impede our happiness.  Activities that are more passive or things that focus on the future, the past or other people's experiences seem to move us (the collective and ambiguous us) away from our center or our real selves.

So the meditation for today is living in the present.  Not just any present, but my present.  Stop living vicariously through others activities and achievement but appreciating my own. 

During my morning meditation, I think I spent half the time fighting my brain.  Yes, I know I could be tidying up, or reading the news. Yes, I know there are plenty of other tasks that need to get done.  But I have to convince myself that listening to my breath and making sure it is there is more important than the list of to-dos I have in my planner.  After that battle is done I pick a thought.  Just a single thought like today was "right now".  I noticed the air blowing strains of hair that tickled my nose. The feel of the table I had rested my hands on.  The feel of my seat under my bare legs. It was actually incredibly relaxing and quieting to appreciate the literal meaning of being here and now. I stopped worrying about this person or that person. Those thoughts of course come back, but for those 10 minutes, it was just me and me. (I think this is why I like challenging yoga so much.  I am spending more of my mind concentrating on not falling on my face that I don't have time to worry about anyone else.  Plus it is exercise and healthy.)

Gratitudes:
1) I am thankful for gchat.  It might sound weird, but I appreciate the low threshold for communicating with people and getting to chat with them regularly.  In fact according to the article above, the three activities during which we are most fully in the present are sex, exercise and conversation. So it is nice to have conversations with people regularly because it helps me and I get to feel connected. (Not that there aren't other forms, this is just one I'm excited about today.)
2) I am thankful for my cousin, Nancy.  We are so different in so many ways, but I am just thankful that she has been there to chat with me and to spend time with me when I need distraction.  It is always nice to have someone to laugh with, even when we don't really know why we are laughing. (Below is a fuzzy picture of us at the Diamondbacks baseball game in the company suite.)

3) I am thankful my brother made it to Mexico safely and he seems to be doing well.  Two weeks of work abroad.  Yay, adventures!

Reflection:
Sitting around at lunch today, my coworkers and I just chatted about stupid things. But it was nice.  I like hanging out with people.  I like connecting with people, even if it is just on how funny one person's lunch is, or how tasty the cherries are.  Relationships with people are awesome because you get to connect with someone.  This was a good realization for me because I teeter somewhere between an introvert and an extrovert. But I think I am shy when I feel like I'm being assessed or judged, or when I don't feel welcomed.  In those cases, it takes me much longer to get use to people.  I use to feel that way with these coworkers, but now I feel much more attached and part of things.  The process takes longer for me, but I think that is why I value my friendships so much, because I put a lot of work and time into getting there.

Exercise:
Now that I'm back in Phoenix, I actually can go to the gym!  Evidently exercise is suppose to be better than antidepressants, without the nasty side effects.  Plus, you are healthier too!

Random Act of Kindness:
I invited some coworkers to join me this week to go to the driving range.  It will be a hoot and half for them to watch me miss the ball. I think I would benefit from one of these two things...